My vulnerability around you scares me; I've always considered myself to be both strong and independent. I'm by no means a hopeless romantic, I'm more than aware of the cruel ways of the world and have had my eyes opened from a young age. I consider myself to be someone who is robust and is able to provide strength and clarity in situations, and yet when I'm around you I walk somewhat with my head in the clouds. It takes a lot for me to trust people, I've had my heart broken in the past. Life will teach you that not all are kind, and that life can be taken from you just as quickly as it can be given. There is no certainty in this world, and there are no promises of growing old and having your happily ever after. Like most young girls I flirted with the thought of love; I loved, and still love, Disney and its ability to romanticize just about any situation, a difficult high school relationship, however, left me broken, a shell of my former self, and unable to consider the possibility of having anyone truly love me. But this isn't about the past, it's about the future; our future. How ridiculous is it that I'm sat grinning like the Cheshire Cat over the small little phrase "out future"? And yet equally how much it frightens me.
I never really thought I'd be one to fall in love, especially as easily as I did for you. Does that make me weak? I remember you walking me home from work late at night, how we'd chat and discuss anything and everything; the insignificant things that I thought never would matter. How I always feel safe with you by my side, despite knowing I'm walking with the one person in this world who has the power to break me. I have given so much to you, all of which gift wrapped with my complete trust and faith. I have my guard up with so many people, I struggle to let them in, and always pick fault with traits and habits, and yet you came along, with your goofy, charming smile and seemed to destroy any sense of fear or hesitation. You took me on our first date on a cold November evening, the twinkling of fairy lights and the smell of Christmas just around the corner gave me so much warmth and comfort. We walked side my side as we looked around each of the Christmas stalls, you bought me my first gift that day, and the one I treasure the most.
You have opened my eyes to so many things in life. Recently you jested "what have I introduced you to" after we spoke about how much had changed in our time together. I laughed and blushed as I couldn't think of anything I actually wanted to tell you about. But my honest answer to that question? Love. Of course, I have my families unconditional love and support, but I thought that was it for me. I never thought I'd be the person that you'd want to bring home to introduce to your family, I never thought I'd be the girl you wanted to hold hands with down the street. I don't know if you notice that you even do it, but I love the warm and welcoming grin that takes over your face whenever you see me. We can be in a crowded space and somehow you'll be the first person I see. You've introduced me to so much, and you've given me my spark back. I feel like I'm the best version of myself around you; I feel like my confidence shines through, I'm nearly always wearing a smile, you make me laugh from the pit of my stomach until I'm crying somewhat resembling a seal in hysterics. You make me feel warm and safe, even when I feel as though the whole world is against me. You make me look towards the future and beam with happiness; nothing is certain in this life, but you truly have captured my heart.
Thank you, my darling.
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it.