Josh and I have just marked the passing of our 18 month anniversary. It's crazy to think, we've known each other virtually all our lives, and yet it's only within this short period of time that we've ever spoken. I think it says a lot about timing. I'm personally a very strong believer in the idea that timing is everything; you can meet the person you're supposed to be with at any point in your life, but if the timing isn't right then it doesn't matter. Within our relationship, I feel as though we've both grown a lot, both in terms of individually and as a partnership. I like to think that we both are equals in our relationship, I've sat and observed as so many of my friends have been in a one-way relationship, and I've always told myself that I'll never let that be me. We've both changed, grown, and learned a lot, and for today's blog post I thought I'd kinda get chatty and personal and discuss a few of the things that I've learnt throughout my first "grown up relationship".
001. You have to make compromises. It can be difficult going from being single and free to do whatever you want, whenever you want. Being single means you only really have to think about how your actions, decisions, and plans affect you however when you're in a relationship you've got to think about somebody else, and often that means putting them first. I think it's important to remember that not all compromises are bad.
002. It's okay not to spend every waking second with your other half. Personal space can be healthy for your relationship. Don't get me wrong, I love spending time with Josh, but it is important to have time to yourself, whether that be having a quiet night in with your family, or meeting up with friends. Towards the beginning of our relationship, Josh and I worked together as well as having a relationship, at the time I don't think either of us really saw anything wrong with that, but seeing each other virtually 24/7 meant that we found conversation difficult at times. Since leaving that job and both finding new (and better) employment I feel like we have so much more to talk about, we can talk, or sometimes complain, about how our day has gone. I find that this is probably one of the biggest things that we've learnt in our relationship. Having time apart just means we appreciate the time we do have together even more.
003. You are not going to agree on every single thing. And I'd probably be worried if we did. I know for a fact that I annoy Josh with my indecisiveness. "What do you want to do today?" "Oh, I don't know, anything... what do you want to do?" is probably one of the most used phrases in our relationship. I don't try to be difficult, but I definitely can understand and appreciate that I am a challenge at times. We don't always want to watch the same thing on TV, and we don't always want to do the same thing on a weekend. I really enjoy a quiet night in, a takeaway and a film, whereas Josh enjoys going out into town and meeting up with friends for a drink. Linking back to the first point I made, it's all about compromise and finding a balance that works for you both.
004. You can not change somebody. As much as I would love to get Josh to willingly make the bed on a morning and put his clothes in the wash basket instead of leaving them at the side of the bed for me to clean up, it's just not who he is, and I'm okay with that. Sure, I'll have a little grumble from time to time, but I'm 100% sure that I have bad habits that annoy him too. We're not perfect, we both have things to learn but that's fine.
005. We're not perfect, we both have things to learn but that's fine. We have a lot to learn about one another, sure, we've come a long way in the time we've been together but there's always going to be more to learn and teach one another. We have disagreements, we do things that the other wishes we didn't, but that's all part of being in a relationship. I can be a right cow, and I can pick fights over "something's and nothings", but we're always able to move past that.
It's been a rollercoaster, and I doubt the ride will be stopping anytime soon. We're still adapting to the changes of being in a relationship, and we still have a lot to learn. But we're one of the happiest couples I know, we're honest with one another and we're mature enough that we can have time apart without feeling insecure or guilty.
Here's to another 18 months, and a few more lessons.